The Bible says nearly nothing about dating. For this reason, to be a Christian and to date is very controversial. I keep hearing different things, e.g., wait for God to bring you the right person, be looking for a woman that fills all of the Proverbs 31 criteria, dating is wrong…the list goes on and on.
First, let me address the thought that you should wait for God to bring you the right person. This idea is incorrect because it says that we should not take action until the right person comes. I lived a lifestyle under this motto all my grade school years. I waited for God to bring her. And waited. And waited. And waited.
Main reason my original statement is wrong: Nothing happens if you don’t act. God has called us to be a people of action. If we don’t act out His calling, He’s not gonna act either. Sure, maybe in the beginning of our Christian walk, His actions first were sort of necessary as a type of ground keeping. But if you’ve been a Christian as long as I have (8 years strong!) you’ll know that waiting around doing nothing isn’t even remotely related to how to live.
I remember a few years ago helping at a youth prayer retreat at my church. One of the phases we went through was called, “waiting.” During this hour-long phase, we took a break and played games, waiting for God to say something, anything. I heard nothing but the sound of my body calling me to enter the dream realm. But my point is that we can’t sit around waiting for God to do something. We must be in action in the meantime. We were actively playing games, etc, while we waited.
If we listen to all of these opinions, we’re bound to never find someone. I remember reading one time that if a woman were to fulfill all of the Proverbs 31 criteria, she would be extremely tired. All the time. No one likes being this way all the time. I wouldn’t wish that life on anyone; I know what being exhausted is. I’m okay if you don’t fulfill them all. Just strive for it, that’s what I mainly care about.
Opinions aren’t actions. They’re just preconceived notions of how to define the world. We must not let people’s well-intentioned opinions solely govern our actions. The reason for this is because we live in a society of pluralism. As a Christian, I’ve been at odds with some ideas shoved down my throat by other Christians. But that’s besides the point (look at two posts ago if you want more on this topic).
We must actually act, not just sit around all day gathering intell on how to act. We must actually date, not just sit back and listen to people saying how we should and should not date. God said that it’s not good for a man (or woman) to be alone. That’s partially why feelings are a thing; God wants the best for us, so the deepest desires of our hearts are from Him.
Yes, yes, I know the verse about the heart being deceitful above all things. But God can also speak to our hearts. In other words, don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. God created our hearts; He has as much or more access to them as sin.
The Bible may have nothing about dating in it, but it still has verses that can be applied to it. Further, He knows that dating is a necessary thing to get married these days. Not that that’s what you should aim for outright when you go on a date; please don’t. You scare people that way. But I believe that God is behind the whole system and that He is fine with it as long as you walk with Him in it.